One of my friends texted me yesterday and said, “I need to talk- about kids and sports and marriage. You’re further along than we are and I just want to talk. I know your life isn’t perfect, but it sure seems like it.” (To which I silently chuckled).
We talked to today about all of those things: kids, kids’ sports and marriage. I assured her that my marriage isn’t perfect, and that we do, indeed, fight. It’s so crazy how we appear to others…How some people seem to think that other people or couples seem “to be perfect”.
There are so many other areas of life where it can seem as if others have it together and we don’t. For example:
Everybody else’s kids are perfect…
Everybody else has 3 well-balanced meals cooked and nutritious snacks for their families…in fact, those families eat all organic, nonGMO, sugar free food from Whole Foods…
Everybody else’s kids know the books of the Bible, in correct order…
Everybody else’s kids don’t struggle with homework, or with making friends…
Everybody else has a house in perfect order that could literally be on the front cover of Southern Living…
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Everybody else steps out of their house in the latest fashion trends with their hair on point…
Every other family has a sit-down dinner every single night and they talk about the magnificent things that happened to them that day…
Everybody else got the promotion…
Every other mom hand-makes their kids’ Valentines that are totally Pinterest worthy…
Every other family closes each day gathered in prayer around each other and they all kiss and hug…
Every other couple has date nights all the time, they are always in love, and they never fight…
I could seriously go on and on and on. It’s so easy to think that everybody else has it right and to focus on what’s missing or what’s wrong in our own lives and relationships. Here’s what I told my friend:
Girl, those arguments about kids’ sports, BEEN THERE. And do we fight about other stuff? YES. Not often, but yes. Am I always madly in love with my husband? Most days. Some days do I want to windmill kick him? YES. And I guarantee you there are days when he wants to do the same to me. (Although the windmill kick is my trademark, so he would have to pick another tactic). The point is, NOBODY has it all together. Nobody. Do you hear me?!?! NOBODY. I told her that every marriage has peaks and valleys…every life does too. It’s just that when you’re in that valley, you have two choices: you can either get stuck in the mud and stay in that valley, and let yourself sink further and further into it – or you can claw your way back out, fighting and praying your way back to the peak. And hopefully, there will be many more peaks than valleys. But man, it’s a beautiful thing when you can stand at the top of the peak and look back over your shoulder at the valleys you’ve been in…and to see how far you’ve come. And to see that your marriage, your family, your dreams…they’re all worth fighting for. And thank God, that every single morning, His mercies are new for all of us. And He’ll be there with us, no matter if we’re sinking in that valley with mud up to our eyeballs, or if we’re standing on top of that peak, with our Superman cape flapping in the wind behind us.
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